- in Self-Care
There are three steps you can take to help identify and pull back your projections.
However, any time we deal with emotions that have been pushed down and kept contained for a long time, it is messy work. While written steps are a starting point, they will not define the entire process as it occurs.
Part of the process of transforming blocked energy is surrendering to the unfamiliar (and therefore initially scary) experience of emotional energy moving through us.
While processing feelings in general can be overwhelming, this is particularly the case with feelings that have been repressed.
Whenever intense emotions are felt, immediately focus on breathing fully and steadily.
Be aware of the feelings but don’t attempt to think too much about them while they are engulfing the body.
DO NOT REACT. Simply breathe.
If the intensity of feeling does not pass quickly, continue to consciously breathe whileholding on to the emotion until you can get to a place where it is safe just to experience what is happening. A simple intermediate explanation may be necessary for the people or person with whom you are interacting.
Say something like, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I need to take some time to myself.”
Once you are alone, experience the feelings by going deeper into them. Crying, writing, or drawing may help, or it may be best to simply continue conscious breathing while you focus on the emotion that is present. Eventually the energy will shift or release, and some clarity will begin to emerge.
Choose how to proceed based on the emergent clarity.
Perhaps you will have identified an event that triggered a strong (suppressed) emotional memory. You may decide to simply explain to the other person that when the triggering event occurred an emotional memory was brought up.
Or, you may determine that your reaction was the result of an external event that was genuinely hurtful or inappropriate in some way.
Most often it is a combination of an inappropriate action bringing up unresolved emotional residue from the past.
The task is then to take responsibility for your overreaction, and to communicate your feelings regarding the situation in an appropriate way.
In this case you might say something like,
“What happened there really upset me, and I know part of my reaction was based on what I have been through in the past. At the same time, I need to share that I feel disrespected when you talk to me that way.”
In some cases, such as with verbal or physical abuse, a change in the relationship may be necessary. The point is to take action only when you can identify how much of the internal emotional reaction was “trigger” and how much was a natural response to an unacceptable situation.
After reading the steps and experiencing the process first hand, it will be helpful to review the steps again.
Once you have experienced blocked energy being released as it moves through you, you will be able to work with it using your own thoughts and images.
A metaphor may come to you or you may wish to create your own steps.
One powerful metaphor is that of fire as a tool for purification. This metaphor is powerful because processing feelings often does feel very much like a fire burning inside.
Projections occur repeatedly until the hidden emotion is fully brought to light.
Therefore, once a “hot spot” has been found there’s a good chance you’ll soon have another chance to identify it the next time it is activated.
The best thing we can do when an emotional memory is triggered is to provide emotional safety and support for ourselves.
Many times people around us are not able to fully understand the implications and the intensity of our feelings because they are not completely due to the current situation.
Often, others may say we are overreacting, and to them it may appear that way. That is why it is especially important that we understand what we need to do for ourselves in order to feel validated, and most importantly, to heal.
The emotions that flood our being during these times ARE real energy, and for that reason are valid and need to be treated as such.
For example, if a person feels overwhelming grief over a small loss, the overwhelming grief needs to be felt and allowed to happen.
It is our way of processing emotion that was too much to handle at an earlier time.
When we reintegrate projections we take responsibility for ourselves in the highest sense.
We acknowledge that there is a part of our being that has not been taken care of. Taking care of ourselves emotionally, at this time, becomes a gift we give to ourselves, like eating right or exercising.
It is the difference between living our own life or being controlled like a puppet to the reactive energy trapped within the psyche.
As long as we avoid this work we make a choice not to be the directors of our own lives.
On the other hand, when we are not preoccupied with avoiding and reacting to our own “land mines,” we are able to move in a direction that is in alignment with our higher self.
Taking this rigorous path ultimately offers inner peace and a clear sense of purposeful direction that leads to goodness of our body, mind, spirit, and the outer world.
Excerpted from Kimberly Kingsley's Opening to Life: Reconnecting With Your Internal Source of Energy, Wisdom and Joy.
About the author
Being a student and teacher of spirituality for over twenty years has taught me one thing: The journey never ends. We are always learning. My journey began with a spiritual awakening in my late twenties, which prompted me to return to school for a Master’s Degree in Counseling.
Today I enjoy a career as a writer, energy coach and speaker. Transformation and healing continue to be my passion and I am blessed to have clear intuition, which helps me see things in a unique way – energetically.
In my latest book, Modern Hippie: An Intuitive Journey Toward a Free-Spirited Life, I share my story and many of the spiritual insights I’ve had along the way.
To know more, visit www.kimberlykingsley.com.