The relationships in our lives — whether with romantic partners, coworkers, family, or friends — are often our greatest source of both comfort and frustration. In the new book The Relationship Handbook: A Path to Consciousness, Healing, and Growth, beloved bestselling author Shakti Gawain and her longtime coteacher Gina Vucci show how relationships also have the potential to be our greatest teachers.
We hope you’ll enjoy this short excerpt from the book, which offers creative visualization exercises that for creating positive change in our relationships.
Here are several Creative Visualization exercises to help you with your relationships.
For these exercises, we draw upon the most powerful techniques in Creative Visualization and the Creative Visualization Workbook. They can help you get to the point where it’s natural to think creatively and to use your imagination positively. These are some of the simplest, most effective exercises we have used.
Exercise: The Basic Creative Visualization Technique
Here is the most basic creative visualization technique in four steps:
1. Pick a goal.
Identify something that you desire to be, do, or have. For example: “I would like to be have better boundaries in my relationships.” Or, “I would like to have a wonderful and fulfilling intimate relationship.” Or, “I would like to have lasting love in my life.”
2. Make an affirmation out of it.
State it in a simple sentence, in the present tense, as if it were already true. For example: “I assert clear boundaries in my relationships.” Or, “I am now creating a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.” Or, “I am creating lasting love in my life.”
3. Picture your goal or feel it as if it were already true.
Usually it’s helpful to close your eyes and just pretend or imagine what things would be like if it were true. Don’t worry if you can’t picture the scenario clearly- just feel it or imagine it in whatever way is easiest for you.
4. Consciously turn your goal over to your higher self, or to the higher power of the universe, and let go of it.
This means you don’t try to make it happen; you relax and let the higher force go to work within you to create it. Then just go about your life- but be sure to follow your intuitive impulses and promptings, and be open to growing and changing.
Exercise: Pink Bubble Technique
The Pink Bubble Technique is one of the most popular exercises. We continue to receive regular correspondence from readers all over the world who have just discovered this exercise or are writing to share their amazing stories of using this powerful tool in their lives.
This process combined the above four steps in a very simple, effective way.
Sit or lie down comfortably, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, slowly, and naturally. Gradually relax more and more deeply.
Imagine something that you would like to improve or manifest in a relationship, or perhaps imagine a new relationship that you would like to manifest. Imagine that it has already happened.
Picture it as clearly as possible in your mind, or simply feel or sense it.
Now, in your mind’s eye, surround your fantasy with a pink bubble. Put your goal inside the bubble. Pink is the color associated with the heart, and if this color vibration surrounds whatever you visualize, it will bring to you only that which is in perfect affinity with your being.
Now let go of the bubble, and imagine it floating off into the universe, still containing your vision. This symbolizes that you are emotionally “letting go” of it, turning it over to the higher power of the universe to bring it to you.
You can do this process once and let go of it completely, or you can do it regularly for a while. If you want to do it regularly, I recommend doing it every morning, when you wake up and again at night before going to sleep.
Exercise: Writing Affirmations
Take any affirmation you want to work with and write it ten or twenty times in succession on a piece of paper. Use your name, and also try writing it in the first, second, and third persons.
Remember to use the present tense. For example:
I, Shakti, am now creating a wonderful, fulfilling intimate relationship.
Shakti, you are now creating a wonderful, fulfilling intimate relationship.
Shakti has now created a wonderful, fulfilling intimate relationship.
I, Gina, am now healing my relationship with my mother.
Gina, you are now healing your relationship with your mother.
Gina has now healed her relationship with her mother.
Don’t just write it by note; really think about the meaning of the words as you write them.
Notice whether you feel any resistance, doubts, or negative thoughts about what you are writing. Whenever you do (even slightly), turn the paper over, and on the back write out the negative thought, or the reason why the affirmation can’t be true, can’t work, or whatever.
For example, on the back you might write: “I’m really not good enough. I’m too old. This isn’t going to work.”
Then go back to writing the affirmation.
When you are finished, take a look at the back of the paper. If you have been honest, you will have a good look at the reasons why you are keeping yourself from having what you want in your life.
With this in mind, make up several affirmations you can use to help you counteract and clear these negative fears or beliefs, and write out these new affirmations. Or you may want to stick with your original affirmation if it seems effective, or modify it slightly to be more accurate.
Keep working with writing the affirmations once or twice a day for a few days. Once you feel that you’ve really looked at your negative programming, discontinue writing out your negative thoughts and keep writing just the affirmations.
Exercise: Ideal Scene
Writing out your “ideal scene” is another popular visualization exercise that we often include in our workshops.
It is a powerful way not only to manifest in your life but also to affirm the deep work you are doing.
You can work with a specific goal you are trying to reach, for example, manifesting a fulfilling relationship, finding an ideal partner, or bringing healing to a relationship.
Think of a goal that is important to you.
It can be any long-range or short-range goal. Write down the goal as clearly as possible in one sentence. You might also use this exercise to help you find the right place to live or a job you are envisioning.
Underneath that, write “Ideal Scene,” and proceed to describe the situation exactly as you would like it to be when your goal is fully realized. Describe your scene in the present tense, as if it is already exists, in as much detail as you wish.
When you have finished, write at the bottom:
“This or something better is now manifesting for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”
Then add any other affirmations you wish, and sign your name.
Now sit quietly, relax, visualize your ideal scene at a meditative level of mind, and repeat your affirmations.
Keep your ideal scene in your notebook, on your desk, or near your bed, or hang it on your wall.
Read it often, and make appropriate changes when necessary. Bring it to mind during your meditation periods.
One word of warning: If you put your ideal scene away in a drawer and forget about it, you are very likely to find one day that it has manifested anyhow- without your consciously putting any energy into it at all.
Excerpted from The Relationship Handbook: A Path to Consciousness, Healing, and Growth. Copyright © 2014 by Shakti Gawain. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.
About the author
Shakti is a pioneer in the field of personal development. For over twenty-five years, she has been a best-selling author and internationally renowned teacher of consciousness. Shakti has facilitated thousands of individuals in developing greater awareness, balance and wholeness in their lives.
Shakti has written numerous books considered classics in her field. Her distinguished publishing history includes best sellers Creative Visualization, Living in the Light, The Path of Transformation, Four Levels of Healing, Creating True Prosperity, and Developing Intuition. Her books have sold over 10 million copies and have been translated into more than thirty languages. She is the co-founder, with Marc Allen, of New World Library Publishing Company.
Visit her online at www.shaktigawain.com.