Ever felt the pressure to achieve something huge?
Build a million-dollar business. Write a best-selling book. Become a household name.
Ben felt it too. So he asked Cal Newport—author of Deep Work—a simple but profound question:
“Can living an ‘ordinary’ life still be meaningful?”
Cal’s answer?
Yes.
In fact, there are two paths to a meaningful life:
- Exceptional Remarkability
- Quiet Remarkability
Let’s break them down.
Path 1: Exceptional Remarkability
This is the life of big achievements.
- Building a company that changes an industry
- Becoming a famous athlete
- Writing a book that makes it to every bestseller list
What You Gain
- Recognition: People admire your talent and seek you out.
- Money: Your skills are in high demand.
- Autonomy: You may have more control over your time and decisions.
What You Pay
- Pressure: High expectations create stress and anxiety.
- Burnout: You’re constantly pushing to stay on top.
- Sacrifices: Personal relationships or downtime may take a backseat.
Path 2: Quiet Remarkability
This is the life of meaningful, personal impact.
- Becoming a beloved teacher in your community
- Being the friend or neighbor everyone can count on
- Shaping your life around values like kindness and connection
What You Gain
- Purpose: Deep fulfillment through close relationships.
- Freedom: Less pressure, more time to focus on what matters.
- Connection: A meaningful role in the lives of those around you.
What You Pay
- Limited Reach: You may not gain the recognition or financial rewards of the spotlight.
- Impact Radius: Your influence might stay local, rather than global.
Which Path Is Right for You?
The truth is, both paths can lead to what Cal Newport calls a “deep life.”
Each has pros and cons:
Exceptional Achievements | Quiet Remarkability |
|---|---|
Autonomy and financial freedom | Strong close-knit relationships |
Public respect and recognition | Less stress and burnout |
High pressure and expectations | Focus on personal values |
Risk of strained relationships | Limited financial freedom |
A Tale of Two Lives
Cal offers a playful comparison:
- Steph Curry: A globally celebrated NBA star
- Lorelai Gilmore: A beloved, fictional small-town figure from Gilmore Girls
Both live meaningful lives—just in very different ways.
Steph Curry is renowned worldwide for his basketball talent. Lorelai Gilmore? She’s adored in her local community for her charm and humor.
Neither is “better.” They simply chose the path that matched their personality and values.
The Big Takeaway
You don’t have to aim for public fame or huge success.
A life filled with close connections, meaningful work, and quiet values can be just as fulfilling.
On the flip side, if you dream of becoming truly exceptional, recognize the sacrifices required.
The best path is the one aligned with your values.
So, which life will you choose?
This post was inspired by Cal Newport's YouTube video 3 Steps To Reinvent Your Life Before 2024 Ends.
