When we think about happiness, we usually believe it comes from good things happening to us—like getting a dream job, marrying the right person, or winning the lottery.
But what if happiness isn’t just about what happens to us? What if we can create it, even when life doesn’t go as planned?
This idea is called synthetic happiness, a concept popularized by psychologist Dan Gilbert.
It means we can feel happy even when we don’t get what we want. It’s not fake happiness—it’s real and can feel just as good as the happiness we get from reaching our goals.
Here are four real-life stories that show how powerful synthetic happiness can be:
1. Jim Wright: Finding Joy After Losing His Job
Jim Wright used to be one of the most powerful people in the U.S. government. But after a scandal, he had to quit his job in disgrace.
Most people would feel angry or sad about this, but years later, Jim said, “I am so much better off physically, financially, emotionally, and in almost every other way.”
Instead of being upset about what he lost, he focused on the good things that happened after his career ended.
He found new opportunities and grew as a person. Jim’s story shows that happiness doesn’t have to depend on success or fame.
2. Maurice Victor: 37 Years in Prison, No Regrets
Maurice Victor spent 37 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
Imagine how unfair and painful that must have been. But when he was finally set free at age 78, he said, “I don’t have one minute’s regret. It was a glorious experience.”
How could someone say that after so much injustice?
Maurice chose to focus on what he learned during those years instead of feeling bitter. He found meaning in his experience, showing how strong the human mind can be.
3. Harry Langerman: Missing a Fortune, Still Happy
In 1949, Harry Langerman had the chance to invest in a small burger place run by two brothers named McDonald. He didn’t invest, and later, McDonald’s became a billion-dollar company.
Most people would regret missing out on that kind of money, but Harry didn’t. He said his life still turned out great.
Instead of being sad about the money he missed, Harry focused on the good things in his life. He found happiness in what he had, not in what he didn’t.
4. Pete Best: Happier Without The Beatles
Pete Best was the original drummer for The Beatles, but he was replaced just before the band became famous.
That sounds heartbreaking, right? But Pete later said, “I’m happier than I would have been with The Beatles.”
Most people would feel regret, but Pete found peace with how his life turned out. He enjoyed his own journey and didn’t let the past control his happiness.
What Can We Learn From These Stories?
These stories teach us something important: happiness doesn’t just come from getting what we want.
We can create it, even when things don’t go our way. This isn’t about pretending everything is okay when it’s not. It’s about changing how we see our situation and finding the good in it.
So, the next time life doesn’t go as planned, remember—you have the power to create your own happiness. Not just in spite of your struggles, but sometimes because of them.
This post was inspired by Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk, The Surprising Science of Happiness.