Ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels in life, going through the motions without making real progress?
Maybe it’s a job you can’t stand, an overwhelming to-do list, or a nagging sense that something just isn’t right.
Being stuck can feel personal, frustrating, and downright exhausting.
But here’s the truth: everyone feels stuck at some point.
The real question is, how do you move forward when life feels like it’s grinding to a halt?
That’s where a friction audit comes in—a powerful yet simple solution that helps you identify the exact things holding you back and provides a clear path to change.
What is a Friction Audit?
A friction audit is a methodical process designed to help individuals identify and overcome obstacles that keep them feeling stuck.
The concept is inspired by the way auditors examine a company's finances—line by line, with attention to detail.
In a friction audit, you’re doing the same, but instead of numbers, you’re analyzing different areas of your life to find points of resistance.
Steps of the Friction Audit Process:
1. Identify Friction Points:
Start by reflecting on where you feel the most resistance or negative emotion in your daily life.
Ask yourself:
- What moments in my day feel most draining?
- What recurring tasks or situations cause frustration or dread?
- Where do I feel stuck or unable to make progress?
Example:
Mel Robbins shared how her mentor asked her to list everything in her life that felt like friction—things she resented, avoided, or complained about.
Once she started writing, she was surprised by how much pent-up frustration she had. By giving her emotions a place to go (on paper), she could begin to take action.
2. Intervene (Remove or Smooth Out Friction):
Once you’ve identified the points of friction, the next step is to determine what action to take.
There are two primary ways to intervene:
Remove the friction:
Eliminate tasks, responsibilities, or situations that cause resistance altogether (if possible).
Smooth out the friction:
If it’s not feasible to eliminate the friction entirely, find ways to reduce its negative impact.
This could involve delegating tasks, using tools or systems to make things easier, or changing your mindset about unavoidable tasks.
Example:
- Mel hated packing on Sundays before traveling for work. Since she couldn’t avoid it, she found ways to make the task less stressful, such as creating a packing checklist and scheduling specific time for it.
- In another scenario, if someone dislikes their commute, they could explore options like carpooling, working remotely a few days a week, or using that time for enjoyable activities like listening to podcasts or audiobooks.
3. Confirm Progress:
After taking action, periodically review your friction audit.
- Are the interventions working?
- Have the friction points improved or been resolved?
- Are there new friction points that have emerged?
This step helps you confirm progress and adjust your approach if necessary.
It’s also an opportunity to celebrate small wins, reinforcing your sense of forward motion and reducing the feeling of being stuck.
Why Friction Audits Work:
1. Clarifies the Root Cause of Feeling Stuck:
Often, people feel stuck without fully understanding why.
A friction audit forces introspection and provides clarity by breaking down vague feelings of frustration into specific, actionable items.
2. Turns Friction into a Manageable Project:
By listing out friction points and addressing them one by one, you transform an overwhelming sense of stuckness into a series of small, manageable tasks.
3. Empowers You to Take Control:
Instead of passively enduring frustration, a friction audit empowers you to actively improve your circumstances, fostering a sense of agency and momentum.
Examples of Friction Points and Interventions:
- Friction Point: "I hate spending hours on grocery shopping every week."
Intervention: Try grocery delivery services or meal planning apps to reduce time spent shopping. - Friction Point: "I feel overwhelmed by emails and can never stay on top of my inbox."
Intervention: Implement a daily email routine—set specific times to check email and use filters to prioritize important messages. - Friction Point: "I feel disconnected from my friends, but I don’t have time to meet up."
Intervention: Schedule short weekly phone calls or video chats instead of waiting for big, time-consuming meetups.
Key Takeaways:
The goal of a friction audit is not to make life perfect, but to smooth out or eliminate unnecessary pain points that drain your energy and enthusiasm.
Even small improvements in high-friction areas can have an outsized impact on your overall well-being.
Regularly revisiting your friction audit helps maintain progress and ensures that new friction points don’t accumulate unnoticed.
This post was inspired by Mel Robbins interview with Dr. Adam Alter.
