- in Self-Care
Try This—Selfless Joy
Author Matthew Emerzian writes in his book You Matter that his therapist told him he would never get over his debilitating depression and sadness until he stopped living life only for himself. She gave him an assignment: to spend an hour every Saturday in service to others.
He began by picking up trash along the highway, visiting with the elderly, helping disadvantaged youth... and to his great surprise, he began to feel better and better.
His happiness wasn’t based on seeing that his life was “better” than that of those he was helping; rather, he found true happiness by learning about others, caring for them, and helping them.
We can often find our happiness once we give it to someone else. Where could you volunteer one hour a week?
Try This—The Best Way to Meditate
Different schools of meditation have different “rules” for meditation. I believe, however, that you should do whatever works for you. If you want to meditate with music, then do it. If you want to use a mantra—a word repeated over and over, such as “love,” or “peace,” or “one”—then try that.
If you want to use a candle as the object of your focus, find a candle you love and light it. Or, if you don’t want to do any of those things, and just want to sit, quietly, in a warm, dark space, do that. The best form of meditation is whichever one works for you.
This is one of my mantras: Space equals freedom. Another one is: Less is more. They seem like paradoxes, but like Zen paradoxes, they contain a lot of truth.
Clutter in my thoughts means I have less space for creativity, imagination, forgiveness, and passion. Clutter in my house means I have less space to expand, less ability to relax. Clutter in my relationships means I get caught up in drama. No more clutter, internally or externally.
Doing What You Love
The popular saying tells us, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” What that saying doesn’t mention is that sometimes it takes a while before that money will come, and you might have to work at a job you don’t love to pay the bills before your passion can support you.
A more accurate saying might be: Do what you love and the money will follow—but be prepared to hustle at a different job in case that money is following a little too slowly. Trust and believe, and it will follow.
Excerpted from the book from The NOW Series by Jesse Sands. Copyright © 2020 by the author and reprinted by permission of St. Martin’s Publishing Group.
About the author
Jesse Sands lives with her family, including two cats and one senior iguana, outside of New York City. Her mission in life is to help her readers live more purposeful, fulfilling lives.