February 19, 2017

How To Open Your Heart and Start Receiving Love

How To Open Your Heart and Start Receiving Love

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” —William Blake

Opening the heart unlocks the door to unconditional love and expression of the light within us.

When we open our hearts and expand our consciousness, we receive spiritual information about who we are and our soul’s progression. At the same time, a creative force signaling unconditional love moves through us as we go about our day-to-day lives.

Given the turmoil in today’s world, it is crucial to focus on the power of the heart. Its expression of unconditional love can be either universal, pertaining to everyone and everything, or relative, directed to one person or thing.

Examples of expressing universal love are “I love people and want peace and harmony in the world” and “I send love and light to everyone and see everything as love.”

Examples of expressing relative love are “I love my job,” “I love you,” and “I love me.”

Expressing unconditional love that incorporates both universal and relative love is the key to expanding our consciousness beyond the limits of our minds and the conditions of the physical world, and is the most powerful source of energy on earth.

Self-Love As the Prerequisite for Soul-Hearted Love

Entering a soul-hearted partnership with another person requires us to first open our hearts and unconditionally love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we become our own safe haven, where we feel free to fully express who we are and realize our dreams.

Opening our hearts so we can love ourselves without qualification is the foundation for developing a soul-hearted partnership with someone else, characterized by the mutual expression of unconditional love.

As psychoanalyst and philosopher Eric Fromm states in The Art of Loving, “What matters in relation to love is the faith in one’s own love; in its ability to produce love in others. We are only capable of knowing and caring for the other if we are also capable of understanding, caring, and knowing ourselves.”1 Stated differently, to experience soul-hearted love, we must first embody genuine love.

Difficulty with loving ourselves directly impacts the thoughts and feelings we have, the choices we make, the relationships we select, and how we perceive and react to every life situation.

Feelings that we are unlovable occur due to our early childhood environment and as a result of our hearts disconnecting from our true being and our source. When we close off our hearts, we are more likely to take things personally, and then blame or attack others—a reaction that follows because we have automatically assumed that we are unlovable, not good enough, or there is something wrong with us.

The blocked unconditional love of ourselves ultimately threatens the expression of unconditional love in our relationships.

We have all witnessed couples giving each other a broken heart on a necklace as a symbol of their love. Although wearing this symbol may be endearing, it implies that the only way we can be complete is with our “missing half.” Since we cannot have a fulfilling relationship unless we feel complete in and love ourselves unconditionally, however, it is not surprising that many people even with their “other half” still feel incomplete.

In contrast, self-love leads to acceptance of the intrinsically spiritual nature of our being. Deeper than our patterns and structured identity is our true being—our sense of aliveness and authentic relatedness. We can experience this aspect of being with a child, friend, partner, coworker, stranger, or even a dog by opening our hearts, which allows unconditional love to flow through us. Through heart connections with others, we see that we are no longer separate but rather one in the collective flow of unconditional love.

With practice, we can master the art of loving and self-loving difficulties can be overcome.

My client Kathy’s self-loving troubles began in early childhood when her mother became ill with Huntington’s disease, a degenerative neurological disorder. During one of our sessions, Kathy recalled an experience at age eight of being in a school play, wearing a frilly pink princess costume her grandmother had made for her, and feeling her heart sink when she realized that her mother wasn’t in the audience. Despite her deep disappointment, she knew the show must go on.

With this mantra in mind, Kathy tried to always do everything right and be the good girl so that her mother would love and wouldn’t abandon her.

Despite her best efforts, when Kathy was ten her father placed her mother in a residential assisted living facility. She remembered thinking to herself, “If only I had done more or been better, my mother would have never left me.” Not prepared for this abrupt separation and taking her mother’s absence personally, Kathy closed her heart so that she could suppress her painful loss.

A year later her father divorced her mother and remarried without first sharing the news with Kathy. When her new stepmother came to live with them and started making derogatory comments about her mother, instead of expressing her feelings Kathy chose not to rock the boat.

Deep down, she was terrified to talk to anyone about her mother or the disease because she knew she was at risk for it as well and in her world of magical thinking, she assumed that if she didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t happen to her. As a result, over the next few years Kathy’s rage turned inward and she became severely depressed then anorexic. In her own way, she had mounted a silent protest against the pressure to be a “nice girl” who accepted peace at all costs.

In the fall of her sophomore year in college, Kathy’s mother died in a nursing home, and Kathy’s painful cry for help finally got the attention of her family. After watching her shrink before their eyes, they could no longer ignore her plea for love.

With support from me, her grandmother, and friends, Kathy gradually discovered how to love herself and forgive her past.

I guided her through the grieving process, which allowed her to open her heart. She began to see that she could put her disappointment about the limitations of her parents’ love in perspective and, each time she thought of them, focus energy through her heart and forgive them.

The more she did this, the more she opened her heart and was able to channel unconditional love as compassion. Seeing herself in a positive light made it easier for her to love herself, receive love, and feel spiritually connected.

The key to self-love is knowing and accepting your true being.

The first step begins with what John Welwood, psychotherapist and teacher, refers to in Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, as “letting yourself have your own experience.” He goes on to say, “If you can let your experience happen, it will release its knots and unfold, leading to a deeper, more grounded experience of yourself.”2

At the same time, we have to trust that our experience is unique and valuable. Sharing it with others may cause us to think it is not unique, but in fact no one else can ever have our experience. Accepting it as valuable can be especially challenging for those of us who are accustomed to ignoring, avoiding, or distracting ourselves from personal experiences.

Initiating self-love by accepting our true being requires paying attention to whatever is going on at any given moment, opening the heart, observing our thoughts with healthy detachment, and acknowledging our feelings, saying to ourselves, for instance, “I feel anxious or fearful,” “I feel confused,” or “I am acting in an insecure way.” We don’t have to like our experience, but we do have to affirm its presence.

Acceptance of our true being quiets the brain’s critical voice and opens the heart to unconditional self-love.

Love of yourself can be reinforced by opening your heart at the start of each day and being mindful of your blessings and your ability to handle anything in life. It also helps to hold yourself accountable for your weaknesses, appreciate your unique gifts, and be grateful for the opportunities life has to offer.

Opening the Heart to Link to Our True Being

Opening the heart links us to our true being. The heart center can be highly vulnerable because it is used for channeling pure creative energy while also processing emotion. Like the shutter of a camera, the heart center opens and closes and can become blocked, causing physical and emotional problems.

For example, taking things “to heart” stresses this energy center, potentially resulting in physical and emotional distress—what we call a broken heart or depression. This may feel as if there is a tremendous weight pushing down on the chest, making it difficult to breathe while simultaneously causing emotional vulnerability. At such times, it is crucial to release whatever is burdening us so that our hearts can remain fully open.

When struck by light energy, the heart center creates an energetic vibration that expands and illuminates the surrounding space.

As the heart center opens, we initiate an energetic pulse that receives and transmits divinely sourced information so that through our heart centers we become conduits of light force energy. Just as the heart pumps and circulates blood through the body, the heart center, or chakra — a Sanskrit word used by Hindus that means wheel of light energy—transmits light force energy through the body. In addition, the heart center is the portal for inspired information to flow from our source.

Opening our hearts increases the intensity of light energy flowing through us, allowing us to receive and transmit energy that is divinely sourced.

When we experience light energy flowing through our open hearts, we feel relaxed and compassionate toward everyone and everything around us, experience a sense of well-being, and have the ability to tap into energy from our source to be creative in our lives. D. H. Lawrence describes this openhearted state as “life rushing into us,”3 while I like to describe it as light energy rushing into us.

For many of us, hearing a favorite song, experiencing a child’s embrace or the image of a loved one, walking in the woods, listening to the birds, or experiencing the beauty of the sun setting over the horizon opens our hearts and makes us feel connected to all things. For example, if you turn the radio on in your car and hear a song that overrides your mental circuits, transporting you to another place and time, the experience is likely to open your heart, and the light energy in the form of unconditional love may fill you to a point at which you cannot contain it and want to share it with others.

When my heart is open, I feel like a rose opening, with waves of warm energy vibrating within the center of my chest then emanating outward from my body in all directions.

With this energetic expansion comes a sense of love, peace, and spiritual attunement with everyone and everything.

The Indian gesture of namasté, made by bringing together both palms of the hands before the heart and lightly bowing the head, illustrates the concept of opening the heart and the intent of accessing positive, spiritual energy through this center. Meaning “the God in me greets the God in you,” the Hindu gesture pays tribute to the sacredness of all people. Perceiving ourselves and all of our relationships in this light increases our capacity to create love, joy, peace, compassion, generosity, and harmony in life.

The open heart becomes a channel for spiritual information that we can use in our daily lives. As Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”4 With an open heart, we can intuit information, bypassing the incessant chatter of our brain, and see new possibilities from an expanded perspective, enabling us to make more inspired choices.

A good example of how we can receive such information through the heart is the following experience of a client named Laura.

During her daughter Anne’s choral concert at school, Laura felt an excitement that something amazing was about to happen as her daughter was performing a vocal solo for the first time. As Anne began to sing, Laura felt overcome with joy and unconditional love, unable to find words to express her experience of everything melting into a stream of loving energy.

After the performance, as Laura waited in a classroom for her daughter, she was aware of a tingly electrical current of energy coursing through her body.

With her heart open, she then sensed an expansion of herself, as if she were simultaneously transporting in and out of her body and to other realities.

While in this state of heightened awareness, she felt clarity about a choice she had put off concerning her career. Then, like a universal translator, she sensed information being downloaded and encoded through her that would guide her to see new possibilities for her future career.

Prior to this she had sensed that she needed to close her online clothing business because she wasn’t making a profit, but she had been afraid of the uncertainty this situation would entail. In that instant, she looked down at the desk she was touching and wondered about a career in teaching. I later highlighted for Laura that the surge of energy had opened her to more expanded levels of spiritual awareness in which she could access information to guide her life.

When an experience opens our hearts, we all gain access to inspired information.

To interpret this spiritual information we can ask ourselves, “What is the significance of my experience?” or “What am I being guided to see?”

If the answer is not immediately revealed, we can let the question resound in our hearts until the answer floats through our conscious awareness, often when we least expect it, such as while awakening from sleep, showering, or driving the car. This extraordinary flow of spiritual information can also be achieved when we are engaged in an activity—such as listening to music, writing, running, or making love—in which nothing else seems to matter.

When we are intensely impacted by someone or something that enters our energy field, the shock can cause us to instinctively protect ourselves by shutting our hearts. This causes us to withdraw, feeling a sense of futility about the situation, when instead, keeping the heart open would have allowed us important access to the guidance of spirit, which can assist us in moving past whatever may be blocking our full self-expression.

Tuning In to the Guidance of Spirit

Tuning in to the guidance of spirit helps us develop a more conscious and integrated relationship with our true being, the expression of our soul’s journey through human experience. When we open our hearts and access our true being, we invite spirit to guide us, at which point its whisper provides a flow of information we can use to make better choices in our lives.

This interaction between spirit and soul originates in age-old distinctions between the two phenomena. In the fifth century BC, Socrates and Plato supported the premise that there is an individual human spirit and a collective soul, and when the spirit leaves the body it continues on to the environment of the soul.

In other words, the soul is an energetic environment like the air we breathe, a pure consciousness that everyone has the ability to access. The soul has nothing to do with our physical existence other than providing light energy that illuminates the spirit.

When the spirit is lighted, the body tunes to this pure vibration. Through the divine energy connection of spirit to soul, spirit then guides us while giving us freedom to choose our life’s path, and soul provides us with a blank screen on which we imprint our choices at every moment.

Realizing the choices we have in our lives and the divine right we have to make them is empowering.

Similar to violinist Isaac Stern’s claim that music is created in the space between the notes,5 our spirit enlivens an otherwise insipid physical existence, providing the capacity for love, joy, and compassion in between the events of daily life and inspiring us to fully express ourselves. Music, like love, is a universal language connecting us heart and soul. Full self-expression resulting from listening to the guidance of spirit reflects our divine potential.

When we tune in to the guidance of spirit, we soon realize that this leads to a richer, more expansive way to live—even when it takes us down a more challenging path.

In trusting the wisdom of spirit’s guidance, we are assisted with daily problems and waste less valuable time and energy being anxious about life’s difficulties. In addition, the guidance of spirit allows us to respond using expanded conscious awareness rather than react to events and relationships, giving us even greater peace of mind.

In contrast, being disconnected from the guidance of spirit diminishes our conscious awareness and traps us in the details of daily life, leaving us at the mercy of circumstances, wandering aimlessly without a sense of direction or purpose. Displaced from the high-energy spirit-to-soul link up, we also miss the spiritual guideposts directing us and feel depressed.

For example, Craig had not tuned in to the guidance of spirit since childhood and thus had absorbed a good deal of negative programming which constantly reminded him that he was inadequate. This mindset had made him feel powerless and at the mercy of his life circumstances, unable to envision dreams beyond the details of his daily life.

Fortunately, he was working on trusting himself and connecting to source when my business card, together with a gift certificate he had been given for a session, fell to the floor as he was looking through a desk drawer. Recognizing this as a spiritual sign, he overrode his abusive self-talk enough to call me.

To avoid being disconnected from the guidance of spirit, it is necessary to acknowledge yourself as a strong and sensitive person connected to source and open to new information coming through your heart. This perspective will help you view life experiences of all sorts as opportunities to fulfill your divine potential.

The following story about my client Sharon is a good example of opening the heart and tuning in to the guidance of spirit to gain information that inspires more fulfilling choices in life.

At age ten, Sharon had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, which had significantly limited her participation in activities because she was exhausted most of the time. Consequently, she felt as if her illness had become a way of life. By the time she started working with me at age fifteen, Sharon had spent most of her life suffering from physical pain and depression.

Being a highly sensitive person, she often absorbed other people’s negative energies and internalized their suffering.

Deferring mostly to the needs of others, she had not explored her own creative energies, developed her personal power, or made choices that expressed her core being.

After working with me for several years, Sharon began to see that she was caught between two realities—one projected by the beliefs and patterns surrounding her illness and the other depicting the world of full self-expression that she was afraid to enter.

Through expanding her conscious awareness she saw she needed to take responsibility for her health, attitudes, and thoughts and be completely free of negative patterns running her life so she could choose how to use her energy positively at any given moment. In addition, she had to develop the stamina and courage to break free of those people and situations that had not only contributed to her illness but also didn’t support her well-being and spiritual growth.

In the safe space of unconditional love with me and her support team, she learned to release negative patterns that prevented her from trusting herself and opening her heart.

As she experienced loving acceptance, her wounds and fears surfaced to be healed, and she was able to see herself as a strong, competent, and lovable young woman. Eventually aligning more with her true being, Sharon realized it was time to follow her heart’s desires. After graduating from high school with her GED, she dedicated the following summer to discovering her desires and opening to new experiences.

She soon began tuning in to the guidance of spirit and gained information that encouraged her to channel her energies into ballroom dancing, volunteering for an animal shelter, and discovering new people and places. She permitted herself to fully participate in a myriad of experiences and gained guidance from spirit that would ultimately influence her future choices.

Once we begin receiving such spiritual information, we can use both hindsight and insight to gain foresight, the ability to envision future results of our thoughts, feelings, and choices.

Foresight allows us to bypass moments, months, or even years of life’s lessons.

Through this window of expanded conscious awareness we can see, for example, that it may no longer be valuable to trudge through the pain and drama of certain circumstances or relationships. Consequently, we become more proactive and present-future oriented.

It has been said that “what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”6 And indeed, the guidance of spirit will constantly remind you of who you are and what your heart most desires even when you choose to ignore the information.

The more you open your heart and gain access to this guidance, the more you expand your perspective which will allow you to consciously override the mental noise that may threaten to overwhelm your true being. Then instead of adhering to the ego-induced dictates of your analytical brain you can instead follow your heart’s desires. When we are guided by spirit, we experience our mistakes as divine opportunities to transform our lives.

Listening to the Voice of Spirit Speaking through the Heart

Over the years, many people have asked me how I distinguish between information coming from my head and information coming from my heart, as well as how I use my head but follow my heart. Learning to differentiate the fear-based patterns of the brain from the voice of spirit speaking through the heart requires expanding conscious awareness through becoming a conscious observer of our experience and engaging in disciplined practice.

The point of view we see with our heads is that of the analytical brain, which views life from a limited perspective and only one aspect of conscious awareness—the past. The brain is like a computer that can scan, access, and store data mechanically, but because it does not tap into creational energy it can only use the information that we provide it.

This information often takes the form of negative mindsets, beliefs, and patterns stored on its “hard drive.”

For example, it employs such fear-based dictates as “Be careful not to let your guard down,” “If you take that risk you’ll get hurt,” and “Don’t confide in anybody, because they’ll let you down,” all of which eventually produce a lack of trust in our own experience and restrict the quality of the choices we make. Accessing such negative files, the brain can only report on the data they contain.

In addition, because of its hard wiring, when the brain moves into survival mode it shuts down to protect itself from any new experience it does not recognize as a past mental file, including new information coming from the voice of spirit.

Past mental files stored in the brain program us to think that only logical thinking is valid.

Operating from such a basis distorts information coming through our conscious awareness, which creates conflict between our heads and our hearts. This short-circuits the flow of spiritual information, producing an energy block. The brain is then given permission to accept what has been stored and is reinforced as the master of our reality.

In contrast, the voice of spirit speaking through our heart provides information from an expanded point of view, validates present-oriented experiences, and guides us without judgment. It whispers, “I know” instead of “I think,” “I trust” instead of “I believe,” and “I create” instead of “I wait.”

Listening to the voice of spirit speaking through the heart requires making an effort to nurture a more introspective and integrated relationship with ourselves.

It is often difficult to find time in our busy lives to be quiet and listen inwardly. Our minds are filled with endless to-do lists, obligations, and distractions. We are constantly making excuses for not having the time to develop an intimate, loving relationship with ourselves. Unfortunately, these circumstances set us up to follow the dictates of the ego instead of our true being.

Many people have revealed to me how difficult it is to stop the incessant ricochet of thoughts that prompts their constant anxiety. Unfortunately, we spend most of our time playing out past events or worrying about future outcomes, which interrupts our experience of the present moment.

More often than not, we hear the voice in our heads that judges us instead of the loving, guiding voice of spirit through our hearts.

Solitude and introspection, however, helps us open our hearts, gain knowledge and appreciation of our true being, and, guided by spirit, begin to make choices without relying on others for validation. In these reflective states we experience our connection to source as a channel of light energy.

Because of the importance of opening our hearts and listening to the voice of spirit, it is advantageous to set aside time each day for quiet reflection and meditation, whether walking in a labyrinth, sitting in a garden or on a park bench, soaking in a bathtub, or journaling, trying each day to increase the length of time spent alone without diversions.

It does not matter where, when, or how we spend this time. What matters is that the sacred space we create is a safe sanctuary and that we view the act as a covenant with ourselves to assure future happiness, which we can achieve by tuning to the vibration of the heart.

Observing ourselves without judgment or resistance, we can watch how our incessant mental dictates surface, then simply allow them to move through the mind.

We can further cue our brains to step aside by touching the center of the chest, using a mantra like “Open heart,” or consciously directing our attention to the heart. Such simple cues help us let go of our negative thoughts and focus on our connection with source through our open heart.

Sustained time alone also assists us in distinguishing our negative fear-based thought processes from positive spiritual information channeled through our heart.

Journaling during these times can help us bypass the brain-induced ego and fear-based thoughts to make us aware of the voice of spirit speaking through our hearts.

While quiet and solitude promote a meditative state, we can also experience such a state by approaching daily activities like cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, eating, shopping, walking, and driving with mindfulness, participating in them with the intention of being fully present and enjoying the moment.

For example, while walking we can focus on the larger significance of our movements by observing how stepping forward signifies advancing toward the future, releasing a back foot means letting go of the past, and the space between our steps represents being in the present.

Learning to quiet the mind, open the heart, and allow the whole body, including the brain, to align with energy coming through the heart promotes a state of internal congruence in which we can listen to the voice of spirit and receive guidance for our choices.

Another way I teach clients to do this is by asking them to sit in a chair and touch the center of their chest, which immediately cues them to direct their attention from their heads to their hearts.

As they attend to their heart center, I ask them to focus on the ebb and flow of their breathing. Using their breath as a focal point, I suggest that they breathe in love and breathe out fear. Then I encourage them to practice opening their hearts while observing the incessant thoughts that move through their minds, such as the unfinished grocery list, the discussion they want to have with their boss, or the phone call they forgot to return.

When distracted by such thoughts, they can again touch the center of their chests to focus their attention back to their hearts, surrender to self-awareness, and listen to the voice of spirit giving them new possibilities for choices in their lives. In this way, instead of mind over matter, they can achieve heart over mind and gain valuable guidance from spirit.

Becoming Our Own Loving Coach

To respond to life circumstances proactively rather than reactively, we need to see ourselves in a positive light by reminding ourselves that we are doing the best we can, forgiving ourselves for our past erroneous choices, and visualizing ourselves moving forward and making better choices in the future. In becoming our own loving coach and trusting the voice of spirit through our hearts, we learn how to eliminate self-abusive thoughts, beliefs, and words and replace them with positive ones.

By coaching ourselves to override the brain’s negative programming, we begin to distinguish between the patterns that have run our lives in the past and new possibilities currently suggested by the voice of spirit speaking through the heart.

While listening to this voice, we identify and disrupt the negative encoding that tells us we are inadequate or have made bad decisions in the past. When we become aware of such negative messages, we should listen without condemnation and talk to ourselves as a loving coach, then guide ourselves to release the negative mentality that triggers these patterns and support positive intentions.

One tool we can use to clear negative mental patterns is positive affirmations.

For this purpose it may at first be necessary to use positive affirmations many times a day. But with practice, we can train ourselves to override these fear-based thoughts with a simple positive phrase to remind ourselves to disengage from them.

Here are a few positive affirmations you can say aloud when you witness a negative thought, mindset, or belief cropping up: “Move beyond,” “Open and let go,” and “Bless and release.”

Using these phrases repeatedly over time will disrupt the automatic reaction of negative thinking.

And whenever you feel afraid to face circumstances, you can override your anxiety by using such phrases as “Take a step,” “Move forward,” or “Make a choice.” These verbal phrases will help ease you out of your comfort zone, make new choices, and stretch yourself spiritually.

Being our own loving coach allows us to release everything that keeps us stuck in a holding pattern.

These releases occur each time the icy grip of a perceived limitation is exposed to the warmth of our self-love. Eventually, we can more easily open the heart and channel light energy to project the positive aspects of our being, enabling us to create the relationship opportunities we have always wanted.

Practicing the Principles

1. Practice opening and expanding the heart center.

Touching the center of your chest, experience the ebb and flow of your breathing. Each time you inhale take in life force energy as oxygen, and each time you exhale release negative thoughts, emotions, and physical discomfort. The deeper you breathe, the more you get in touch with the core of your being. Now quiet your mind and witness your thoughts, focusing on the flow of energy emanating from your heart so you can view a greater range of possibilities and see what your heart desires.

2. Begin every day by affirming the value of your experiences and feeling grateful for opportunities to open your heart.

No matter what your circumstances, daily bless yourself, your fellow human beings, and the earth; then express appreciation for your unique gifts. An affirmation that can be helpful in this regard is the following by poet e. e. cummings reminding us to affirm ourselves and life in this way: “I thank you God for this most amazing day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky: and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.”7 This opens your heart and sets your intention to hear the voice of spirit for guidance in life.

3. Practice listening to the voice of spirit through your heart.

Create your own safe sanctuary for exploring yourself, such as sitting in a park, garden, or on a front porch; walking in nature; soaking in a pool or bath; or meditating in a favorite room or chair. Take time every day for being still or meditating, gradually increasing the length of time you remain alone and quiet, without distractions, to listen to the voice of spirit through your heart.

4. Incorporate journaling into your life to open your heart and listen to the voice of spirit.

Journaling can assist you in observing your circumstances and thus help you release negative mindsets and open your heart to inner truth. Record any negative thoughts, feelings, or behaviors and what they suggest. Whenever you observe yourself using negative self-talk, write down positive affirmations that override your brain. Review your journal entries to observe any patterns of negative thoughts, feelings, or behaviors so you can recognize them when they arise in the future.

5. Become your own loving coach.

Override your negative mental patterns by eliminating self-abusive words and actions, such as “I am inadequate” or “I’ll never be happy.” Disrupt the chain reaction of your negative thinking with positive affirmations such as “See and move beyond,” “Open and let go,” or “Bless and release,” saying these mantras aloud or to yourself so they can become the basis for manifesting the fulfilling life you envision.

6. Practice loving-kindness, non-judgment, and acceptance of yourself and others.

As you move through your day, keep an open heart and extend unconditional love to whomever you meet. In these moments, reflect on the connection between your heart and the other person’s. Then bless the individual. This tool can be used to release blame or judgment and to more quickly forgive yourself or others.


1. Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving (New York: Harper & Row, 1956), 114.

2. John Welwood, Perfect Love: Imperfect Relationships (Boston: Trumpeter, 2007), 105–106.

3. D. H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems of D. H. Lawrence (New York: Viking Press, 1971), 449.

4. Helen Keller, The Story of My Life (New York: Grosset & Dunlap, 1905), 203.

5. Isaac Stern, “La musique, c’est ce qu’il y a entre les notes,” L’ Express (December 2000), 40.

6. Anonymous

7. George James Firmage, ed., E. E. Cummings Complete Poems: 1904-1962 (New York: Liveright Publishing, 1979), 663.

Excerpt from  Soul-Hearted Partnership: The Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy by Debra L. Reble and printed with permission.

About the author

Consciously merging her practical tools as a psychologist with her intuitive and spiritual gifts, Debra L. Reble, Ph.D. empowers women to connect with their hearts and live authentically through her transformational Soul-Hearted Living program and podcasts.

A soul-inspiring writer, Debra is the author of the award-winning Soul-Hearted Partnership: The Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy with four awards including the Eric Hoffer award. She is also a contributing author to the International Best-seller Inspiration for a Women’s Soul: Choosing Happiness, Inspiration for a Women’s Soul: Cultivating Joy (Oct. 2015) and The Wisdom of Midlife Women 2 (August 2015) published by Inspired Living Publishing. She is currently writing her new book, Being Love.

Debra is a popular blogger and writer whose words and wisdom are embraced by readers around the world. She is a frequent guest contributor to Aspire Magazine and other high-profile blogs. Aspire Magazine Publisher Linda Joy calls Debra the Ambassador of Love and shared, “Debra’s writing and words hold a powerful vibrational energy… and that energy is LOVE.”

To know more about Debra, visit her website www.debrareble.com.