In 2003, Kris Carr received news that forever altered the course of her life.
On Valentine’s Day, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer.
The diagnosis was grim—24 tumors in her liver and lungs, a condition for which there was no cure.
Her doctors gave her just 10 years to live.
At 31, Kris was young and full of dreams.
The weight of her diagnosis hit hard, shaking her to her core.
Fear consumed her, and the same question echoed in her mind repeatedly: “Why me?”
The Heavy Burden of “Why Me”
In the early days following her diagnosis, Kris felt isolated and overwhelmed.
The question “Why me?” became her constant companion.
It was a natural response to the upheaval in her life, but it kept her tethered to the past and the unchangeable.
She found herself trapped in rumination, unable to move forward.
As time passed, she began to notice how staying stuck in the "why" prevented her from making meaningful progress.
Instead of finding answers, she felt lost in a spiral of blame and helplessness.
Kris realized she needed a new approach to cope with her reality.
A New Question: “What Can I Do Now?”
At her lowest point, Kris discovered the power of a different question: “What can I do now?”
This shift changed everything.
It redirected her focus from what she couldn’t control—her diagnosis and prognosis—to what was still within her power.
Instead of lingering in despair, Kris began to look for actionable steps she could take to care for herself.
She started exploring ways to support her mental, emotional, and physical health.
Kris adopted a plant-based, anti-inflammatory lifestyle, which gave her a sense of agency over her body.
Cooking became a therapeutic outlet and a means to nurture herself during a difficult time.
She also leaned into practices that bolstered her spirit, such as mindfulness and self-reflection.
The Ripple Effect of Progress
Progress came slowly at first, but each small step gave Kris a sense of accomplishment.
These little victories helped her rebuild confidence and shifted her perspective.
She learned to focus on what was possible instead of what was lost, embracing a mindset rooted in resilience and growth.
Over time, Kris began sharing her experiences and insights with others.
Her story resonated deeply, inspiring people to confront their own challenges with courage.
She became a bestselling author, wellness advocate, and a guiding light for those navigating loss, grief, and adversity.
The Wisdom of “What”
Through her journey, Kris learned to replace unproductive “why” questions with empowering “what” questions:
Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” she asked, “What can I do now to support myself?”
Instead of focusing on the past, she leaned into the present, seeking ways to create peace, comfort, and progress.
This mindset became a cornerstone of her approach to living fully, even with stage four cancer.
Living Fully Today
Kris has been thriving for over 20 years since her diagnosis—far exceeding the prognosis she was given.
Her life is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of shifting perspective.
By embracing the question “What can I do now?” she turned her greatest challenge into an opportunity for growth, healing, and purpose.
Her story reminds us all that while we may not control what happens to us, we always have a choice in how we respond.
As Kris often says, “Ask a better question, and you’ll find a better path forward.”
This post was inspired by Kris Carr's interview with Marie Forleo in The Marie TV Show.