In one of the most moving moments of Mo Gawdat’s journey, he shares a profound lesson about perspective and the power of reframing.
After the sudden loss of his beloved son, Ali, at just 21 years old, Mo faced an unimaginable reality.
He had every reason to sink into despair, bitterness, and anger.
But he chose a different path—a choice that didn’t erase his pain but transformed it into something meaningful.
From “Ali Died” to “Ali Lived”
Mo reframed his loss.
Instead of focusing solely on the void left behind, he shifted his perspective from “Ali died” to “Ali lived.”
This wasn’t just a clever play on words—it was a profound shift in focus.
- Instead of drowning in the heartbreak of losing Ali, Mo celebrated the 21 and a half years of love, joy, and wisdom his son brought into the world.
- Instead of allowing grief to define his life, he found gratitude for the privilege of knowing Ali.
This reframing became Mo’s guiding light. It didn’t diminish the pain but gave it a purpose.
Reframing: A Practical Superpower
Reframing is the ability to look at a situation from a different angle, uncover new meaning, and shift focus toward what empowers us instead of what defeats us.
It’s not about ignoring pain or pretending hardship doesn’t exist. Instead, it’s about asking, What else is true?
Here’s what Mo’s story teaches us about reframing:
1. Focus on What Was Given, Not Just What Was Lost
When life hands us loss, it’s easy to fixate on what’s missing.
But Mo reminds us that every moment we had is a gift.
By focusing on “Ali lived,” he chose to honor the richness of their time together rather than dwell only on the heartbreak of losing him.
2. Gratitude as a Healing Tool
Gratitude doesn’t erase pain—it adds depth to it.
Mo’s gratitude for the years he shared with Ali didn’t diminish his grief. Instead, it helped him appreciate the beauty that coexisted with the sorrow.
3. Finding Purpose in Pain
Mo didn’t let his pain define him—he let it guide him.
Through the Solve for Happy movement, he shared Ali’s essence with the world.
By reframing his loss as a mission, he turned personal heartbreak into global impact.
How You Can Harness the Power of Reframing
Mo’s story isn’t just about loss—it’s a lesson in how we can reframe nearly any challenge life throws our way.
Here’s how you can start:
1. Ask Different Questions
Instead of asking, “Why me?” try:
- “What can I learn from this?”
- “How can I grow through this?”
Reframing begins with the questions you ask yourself.
2. Shift the Narrative
Rewrite the story you tell yourself.
If your default thought is negative—“I failed”—reframe it to:
- “I learned what doesn’t work, and I’m closer to success.”
3. Look for the Gift in the Pain
Every hardship, while unwelcome, carries a lesson.
Finding that lesson doesn’t invalidate the struggle—it gives it meaning.
4. Practice Gratitude
When life feels unbearable, shift your focus to what remains.
Gratitude doesn’t eliminate grief, but it softens its sharp edges.
A Universal Truth
Mo’s reframing of “Ali died” to “Ali lived” is deeply personal, but its lessons are universal.
Life will challenge us with pain and loss, but the meaning we assign to those experiences is within our control.
We all have the power to choose how we see our circumstances.
In that choice lies our greatest strength: the ability to find light, even in the darkest moments.
Mo’s story is a powerful reminder that while we can’t control what happens to us, we can always control how we respond.
And that response?
It has the power to change everything.
This post was inspired by Mark Williamson's interview with Mo Gawdat for Action for Happiness.
