Imagine you’re standing at the edge of a buffet table, hungry but determined to eat healthy.
You see the brownies calling your name, but you’ve told yourself, “No desserts today.”
What happens next?
For most people, the battle between desire and willpower begins.
And let’s be honest: willpower is a fickle friend.
It tires out, especially after a long day of decisions, challenges, and mental fatigue.
This is where the power of rules comes in.
Why Rules Work Better Than Willpower
Rules simplify your life by removing the burden of decision-making in moments of temptation or emotional weakness.
Unlike willpower, which requires constant effort, rules act as a predetermined framework you simply follow—no debate, no mental tug-of-war.
They eliminate ambiguity and create clarity, allowing you to focus your mental energy on more significant tasks.
The Story of Daniel Kahneman’s Phone Rule
A brilliant example of this comes from Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman, who shared an ingenious rule: “I never say yes on the phone.”
Kahneman noticed that in the heat of a phone conversation, he would often agree to requests out of social obligation, only to regret it later.
He felt compelled to please others, leading to overcommitment and a packed schedule.
To counter this, he established a rule:
He would never agree to anything immediately. Instead, he’d respond the next day.
The result?
He went from saying yes 80% of the time to just 10%.
People rarely argued with him when he cited “his rule.”
By removing the need to negotiate in the moment, he preserved his time and energy while maintaining control over his commitments.
The Gym Negotiation: A Rule That Stuck
Consider another example: A man who struggled to stick to his gym routine.
Originally, he planned to work out three days a week, but when Monday rolled around, excuses began creeping in:
“I’m too tired,” “I’ll make up for it tomorrow,” or “I have a deadline to meet.”
By Wednesday, he’d skipped two days, and by Friday, the cycle repeated.
Frustrated, he decided to establish a new rule: “I sweat every day.”
This rule removed the need for daily negotiation.
Instead of debating whether to work out, the question became:
What will my workout look like today?
Some days, it was an intense gym session; other days, it was a light jog or yoga.
The scope varied, but the rule stayed constant: he had to sweat daily.
This consistency created momentum, and eventually, the rule became a habit.
Why Willpower Fails
Willpower is like a battery—it depletes with use.
Every decision you make throughout the day drains it further.
By evening, it’s no wonder that resisting dessert, getting to the gym, or maintaining patience during a tense conversation feels nearly impossible.
Rules bypass this depletion entirely.
They operate like automation in your life, guiding behavior without requiring constant mental energy.
The Power of Rules in Everyday Life
- Diet Rules: Instead of wrestling with temptation at every meal, create a simple rule: “I don’t eat dessert,” or “I choose the healthiest option on the menu.” This eliminates the need for on-the-spot deliberation.
- Sleep Rules: Want better rest? Establish a bedtime rule like “I’m in bed by 10 p.m., no exceptions.” Even if sleep is elusive, the act of going to bed on time aligns your actions with your goal.
- Digital Detox Rules: Struggling to stay off your phone at night? Use a rule: “No devices in the bedroom.” Move chargers to another room to reduce temptation.
- Work-Life Balance Rules: Overcommitted at work? Try a boundary like, “I don’t respond to emails after 6 p.m.” Let people know this is your rule—it makes it easier to enforce.
Turning Desired Behaviors into Defaults
Rules are essentially a way to convert desired behaviors into default behaviors.
When Kahneman said, “I never say yes on the phone,” he wasn’t using willpower to resist agreeing; he was following a rule.
This is crucial because rules not only guide us but also protect us from ourselves—our emotions, impulses, and tendencies to make poor decisions under pressure.
Why People Don’t Argue with Rules
Interestingly, rules are rarely challenged.
If you tell a friend, “I’m trying to cut back on dessert,” they might coax you with, “Oh, come on, just one bite!”
But if you say, “My rule is no dessert,” they’re less likely to push back.
Rules carry an air of authority and finality that deters resistance—from others and from yourself.
Making Rules Work for You
To create effective rules:
- Be Specific: Avoid vague rules like “I’ll eat healthy.” Instead, say, “I don’t eat fried foods.”
- Start Small: Begin with manageable rules, like “I’ll drink water before every meal.”
- Test and Adjust: Rules aren’t permanent. Try them for 30 days, evaluate their effectiveness, and tweak as needed.
- Anchor Them to Identity: Think, “I’m the kind of person who…” For example, “I’m the kind of person who works out daily.”
Conclusion
Rules are a powerful antidote to the unpredictability of willpower.
They provide structure, reduce decision fatigue, and help align your actions with your goals.
Whether it’s eating healthier, managing stress, or staying consistent in your routines, rules are the shortcut to living life on easy mode—where good decisions happen by default, not by chance.
This post was inspired by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee's interview with Shane Parrish, Everyday Habits Sabotaging You - Fix This To Take Back Control Of Your Life!
