Maya Shankar had one goal: to conquer the world of music with a violin in her hands. 
She started playing at six years old, and it quickly became her whole world.
After school, Maya would rush home to practice for hours. On Saturdays, she and her mom would wake up at 4:00 a.m. to catch a train to Juilliard, one of the world’s most prestigious music schools.
She wasn’t just passionate—she was exceptional.
By her teenage years, Maya’s hard work paid off. Her idol, renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman, invited her to be his private student.
For Maya, it was the ultimate validation—a dream within reach.
But life had other plans.
The Moment It All Changed
One morning, while practicing an intricate piece, Maya pushed her finger too far on a note.
She heard a popping sound.
In an instant, she had injured the tendons in her hand so severely that she could no longer play like she used to.
Her dream of becoming a concert violinist was over. 
For Maya, it was devastating. The violin wasn’t just something she did—it was who she was.
Without it, she felt unmoored, unsure of what her future held.
From Loss to Rediscovery
But Maya didn’t stay lost forever.
Over time, she realized her love for the violin wasn’t tied solely to the instrument.
- She loved connecting with people.
- She loved the process of improving through practice.
- She loved working toward meaningful goals.
These were values that weren’t confined to her identity as a violinist. They were a part of her.
Maya found new ways to channel those passions: first as a cognitive scientist and later as the host of her podcast, A Slight Change of Plans.
Her journey taught her a life-changing lesson: defining yourself by one role is risky.
Building a Stronger Identity
If you tie your identity too tightly to one role—a parent, an athlete, or a teacher—life can feel devastating when that role changes.
But when you think of yourself more broadly—as someone who is creative, curious, or driven by purpose—you always have something to hold onto.
How to Build a Resilient Sense of Self
- Understand What Truly Drives You
Reflect on why you love what you do. Is it the creativity? The connection? The challenge? Those deeper reasons define you more than the role itself. - Explore New Interests
Don’t limit yourself. Trying new hobbies or activities can uncover other parts of who you are. - Focus on the “Why”
Instead of saying, “I’m a teacher,” dig deeper: “I love helping kids learn.” That purpose remains, even if the role changes. - Embrace Change
Life is unpredictable. Accepting this can help you stay grounded when things shift unexpectedly. - Let Yourself Evolve
You’re not static. Who you are today will likely change in the future, and that’s a good thing.
Why This Matters
Maya’s story shows us that identity isn’t one-dimensional.
When life changes—and it always will—having multiple facets to your identity helps you adapt and grow.
Think of yourself as a house. 
A sturdy structure isn’t supported by just one beam; it relies on many.
The more ways you define yourself, the steadier you’ll stand when life throws you a curveball.
This post was inspired by Maya Shankar's Ted Talk Why Change Is So Scary — and How to Unlock Its Potential.
