Amy was smart, beautiful, and successful.
But she didn’t see herself that way.
She used humor to cover her insecurities.
Laughed off her struggles.
Downplayed her worth.
And when it came to relationships?
She had a habit of picking the wrong men.
After a bad marriage, she put in the work.
Therapy. Self-improvement. Healing.
She was finally ready to start fresh.
So, she tried online dating.
And it was brutal.
One bad date after another.
Men who didn’t look like their pictures.
Men who “forgot” their wallets.
Men who didn’t even bother showing up.
But she kept going.
One day, Amy walked into her therapist Jennice Vilhauer's office, crying.
“I had the worst date of my life,” she said.
Jennice asked, “How bad was he?”
“He was amazing,” Amy replied with regret. “He was everything I was looking for.”
She was prepared for another letdown, expecting the same bad date as always.
Amy asked him to meet her for coffee after yoga.
She didn’t shower, dress up, or wear makeup.
She just showed up in gym clothes.
And there he was.
Tall. Handsome. Perfectly groomed.
He was the kind of man she had always dreamed of but never thought she’d meet.
But instead of rising to the moment, Amy froze.
She barely made eye contact, sat there laughing nervously, and stared at the floor.
Finally, she made an excuse about needing to add more money to the parking meter and left.
No goodbye. No second chance.
Amy’s story teaches us something important.
We act based on what we expect, NOT what we want.
Disappointments scar us.
They steal our confidence.
They turn hope into hesitation.
They teach us to flinch before we even get hit.
And when we expect failure, we act like it’s inevitable.
We hesitate.
We self-sabotage.
We pull away before we even give ourselves a chance.
But here’s the truth:
You can change your expectations.
- What if, instead of bracing for disappointment, you prepared for success?
- What if, instead of shrinking back, you stepped forward?
- What if you expected things to work out instead of falling apart?
This one shift—just this one—can change everything.
Because what you expect shapes what you do.
And what you do shapes what you get.
So I’ll ask you this…
What are you expecting?
And what could happen if you finally started expecting something good?
This post was inspired by Jennice Vilhauer’s Ted Talk, Why You Don't Get What You Want.